Archive for November, 2012

Review of Make Love Not Porn

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Make Love Not Porn is Cindy Gallops newest venture. This is an amateur web cam/video based  pay site  with a spin.

From the press release 

MakeLoveNotPorn.tv is of the people, by the people, and for the people who believe that the sex we have in our everyday life is the hottest sex there is.

We are not porn – porn is performance (often an exceedingly delicious performance, but a performance nonetheless).We are not ‘amateur’ – a label that implies that the only people doing it right are the professionals and the rest of us are bumbling idiots. (Honey, please.)  

Instead of paying per min.(ppv) you rent the movie of your choice for $5, and it is good for unlimited viewings three weeks.

This is great numerous reason. One is that ppv is a rip off,  (dont even get me started on how many times I have had to call AEBN Customer service) and it gives you time to watch the clip numerous times and really involve yourself in the action.

  Overall  Review  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Ethical positioning of all Bodies– Searching through the closed beta, I found that most of the performers were thin, white semi attractive people. This site is user submitted so this could be for a few different reasons, normative beauty standards, objectification of  minorities and so on.  However  they did earn points for the “stories” behind the videos. Each video comes with a back story this is the performers own write-up of the scene.  This gives performers a voice and a background. This is important for numerous reasons. One is to dismantle the idea of who does “sex work”, and how they are.

Ethical treatment of  performers  MLNP payment options are clearly stated, both for the buyer and seller. It is $5 to submit your video, and then you receive 50% of your rentals.   Again extra points for clarity and upfrontness of how much performers get paid/profit share.

Use of language- This is important to MLNP/ Cindy Gallop.  There is no insulting misogynist language, racist or gender binary language used to promote videos.  Words like girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/lover  are used rather than “horny bitches get it”. This is a refreshing change of pace.

Other Info

The site is in a closed beta- and you have to be invited.  I submitted my email and received an invite with in 24 hours. As some one who spends her free time pursuing porn, I would highly recommend this site if you like real bodies, and a personality behind your porn.  The site is chock full of  pop culture references. It makes the viewer feel comfortable watching, with out feeing the usual disconnect.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Porn

Monday, November 26th, 2012

I will be reviewing a few different  places on the Internet to get your porn on.  I will rate them based on feminist principles of  sex positiveness.  (I personally have some criticism of the sex positive movement)

I use a mix of Erika Lust  Good Porn, and other sources.

The rating will be based on

Ethical positioning of all bodies – This discusses the question of non binary bodies, and weight.

Ethical treatment of  stars/actors/actress  – I will attempt to investigate the payment options available for the people in the films

Use of language  – This is how porn/erotic film is  framed.

Ease of Site use

 The contenders are

Pink and White on Demand 

Make Love Not Porn 

Indie Porn Revolution 

Kink.com Padded Kink 

 

That Type of Girl

Monday, November 19th, 2012

As a note this is written in a hetronormative tone because that is my current experience. I will be expanding this to different relationship types soon.

 
During a discussion with a friend about a new relationship, and its emphasis on friendship and sex without romantic intent – she dropped this retro bomb-
   I never thought you were the type, of girl lets herself be used for sex?

 

Apparently,  I am.  I am the type of girl who lets herself be used for sex. There I said it.

Since I am a fan the Reed-Kellogg  diagram- here is a picture!

 

 

 

 

Lets unpack this whole bunch of mess-
Type Of Girl – This is the subject of the question clause, preposition and determiner

The idea that there are types of girls is implied. This is a dangerous assumption because it is lazy and relies on trope and stereotypes to fulfill knowledge gaps.
I am assuming the types of girls she is referring  in this context is the ever present good/bad trope.  “Good” girls wait, “Bad” girls get what they deserve.More Here about tropes    (This plays a  large part in rape culture)

If you are Good and thus  deny your partner sex, you get “stuff”, including respect.  Stuff can be monetary tangible things one receives during dating/courting, it also includes getting phone calls, texts, communication exchanged regularly.
The giving away of sex-negates this courting period. This is the root thought behind “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”
.

“Lets herself”.  This is a verb of question clause

Lets Herself – implies permission.  I let myself eat cake- as if eating cake was somehow inappropriate and I need a special allowance of the self community to make a choice.  Sex follows the same screwed up permission logic as food.

Lets herself is also used in axiom  She has let herself go.  This is a form of the permission based transactional analysis  of adherence to a good cultural norm.  As seen by this screen shot,

 

 
men are super concerned about this permission based going.
The idea of permission that you give yourself in the “lets herself be used.”also disallows any claim of rape or abuse.  It is preemptive victim blaming .

Used for Sex  – Subject Complement Adjective

This again falls back on the idea that women do not like sex, and use it for a transactional purpose. When you feel “used”- it is because you feel taken advantage of, there is a miscommunication among two or more  parties of about equity.  In  the logic of sexual relationships this creates an  fallacious equation of  (male wanting) sex equal something else (female wanting anything else but sex ) , not that that (male)sex could equal  (female) sex.
In order for me, a female,  to feel “used for sex”- I must ascribe to the idea that the sex that I  have is something I didn’t want to want to do, but was made to do. I have been pressured into sex before, and know what it feels like, so I can safely say that this was not the case, would mostly likely never be the case with the person in question.
That in order for me to not feel used, I must balance out this sex (a negative) with stuff(positive). This idea is an extension of society telling me how I should feel about my own choices, body and identity.
There is also the response to this question that is the elephant in the room-

What type of girl lets herself be used for sex? -One that does not respect herself.

This again is an assumption about my emotions towards my body and what I do with it. I respect my body enough to give it what it wants, I respect my partners enough to be honest with them about what I want, who I am with, and manage expectations of relationships.

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Bad Girls 5

Monday, November 19th, 2012

I was asked to review this DVD from my friends over at EdensFantasys. It was originally published  here. 

This movie is almost two and half hours long. To me, this is a huge plus. Because of its length, it is almost like getting a few movies on one disc. I admit I did not watch the entirety at once, instead I broke it into “bite size” pieces of 30 minute sections. This is how non-reviewers watch porn, and I like to mimic the “actual” watching as much as possible

Digital Playground is one of the “top five” of the industry and it shows. Beautiful sets, mid to upper fancy lingerie, clear camera work, and beautiful stars are the hallmarks of a well run studio.

Stoya was the highlight in this film, and for an obvious reason. She is one of the most gorgeous women in or out of porn. Since she has not done a ton of porn, there is still a sense of hesitancy in some scenes, mainly the much touted double penetration.

Tori Black is also in this film. Black is the first person in history to win two AVN Female Performer of the Year Awards, winning back-to-back years in 2010 & 2011. She is only in a few scenes; I would recommend Tori Black Is Pretty Filthy as a highlight on her.

I liked the total lack of plot. I think that the fake attempt at a plot falls flat and is uncomfortable to watch. When I watch porn I am not reviewing, I usually fast forward to the actual sex.

The kink factor is hit or miss.

I watched this with a partner and we had different reactions to the “kink”. I thought the kink factor was a 3/10, where as his reaction was a 6/10. There was DP, some light breath play, and rough(er)sex. There is also some unsafe play in the film such as no condom use, and anal/vaginal play.

Some of my favorite scenes


I have not seen the other Bad Girls movies so I can not compare across the line, but this what Bad Girls do. I should know, I am one!

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Fulfill your Blood Lust!

Monday, November 5th, 2012

Product  Blood Lust – by Wicked Cosmetics 

Price : $10 for  8fl oz.  Free Shipping!

Effervescent as usual, the multi talented Ms Ginger Christiansen spoke with me about her new venture- Blood Massage Oil!  This is an understandable off shoot, combing two of her passions, the goth ideology and cosmetics.
Already a verified mad scientists via her Wicked Line of Cosmetics, she puts the same passion in this product.

While most lubes are made of icky ingredients, that are bad for your body/skin . The Blood massage oil has only 5.  That is right, you can count the  ingredients on one hand and  and pronounce them!

I usually follow the idea that if I can’t pronounce it, it’s not going in my body. Well not including ethic food. But  with everything else- this rule is solid.

Lets compare lube/massage oils-
K-Y the most popular lube/Massage Oil has these ingredients

Aqua, glycerine, hydroxyethylcellulose, gloconolactone, chlorhexidine digluconate, methylparaben, sodium hydroxide.

Wicked Line of Massage Oil
Olive Oil, flaxseed, earth based pigment, coconut oil  *scent extract.

Which  would you  you want -next to and perhaps inside of your body?

Why Blood?
It is the opinion of the author that the blood massage oil gives people a safe space to discover /embrace/understand the fetish for blood play.
Previous to this invention, there was not a safe space to discover this fetish. You could watch others or do it yourself. This massage oil gives a welcomed intermediary phase.This is a great product for those inside of a poly relationship to discover the idea of blood bonding.

Plus… its just plain cool.

Use:
I dont normally use lube in everyday sexual explorations. However my interest in this product was peaked so I used it solo and during heterosexual sex.As a note this massage  oil is supposed to feel like there is something there.  Think about this lube like goth make-up.  You want people to know it is being used for effect.

Solo Use
A little goes a long way. It was has a satiny finish rather than a slick feel. It feels like a heavier version of Liquid Silk, but not as heavy as Astro Glide. I like the weight of the lube. My clit is extra  sensitive,so the buffer of the extra weight worked well for me.
Always check with your toys to see if they are compatible with different lube/oil.

Heterosexual sex

I used this with my  male partner. He is not into blood play- but played along for Science! We used it during hand jobs and vaginal sex with a condom and with out.*

The handjob  “felt weird but good”.  This weirdness is due to the fact that it “really did feel like jerking off with blood”.  This was not a fetish for him, but was not all together  “icky” feeling.

As the giver of said handjob- I enjoyed the weight and non super slipperiness. I dislike water based lubes like ID, because they not only dry out, but also because you can not get a good rhythm going. This oil lasted  more than thirty minutes and did not break down.

Sex with a condom– The combo was different for my partner and I- since we don’t normally use lube or condoms.  But again Science!.  Between the thickness of the condom and the weight of the lube- I found that my partner could turn up the intensity quicker.

Sex with out a condom*

This mimicked the feel of having sex during my period, during a lighter flow. Menstrual blood has more viscosity than the sample. However this could be a another version!

I felt like there was lube there. Normally I dislike this feeling because it is normally a sign of over use or my body rejecting the “wetness”. However with this lube, idea that “something” was there was part of the fun.

Part of the fun is the highly visual nature of the lube. It give you an all month access to your red wing fetish!

Tips for Use:
Like most oils, a little goes a long way. Pour some in your hand, and rub it on your skin. See how it looks and feels. Most oils will just lie on top of your epidermis like a blow up doll. This will soak into your skin like a lotion.

Since it is a bit thicker, you can put more pressure on the delicate parts of the anatomy head of the penis, clit.

It does not stain sheets with color however the coconut oil/olive oil can leave a residue if using silk/satin sheets. This is the same with all oils and lubes. This article might be useful on stain removal.

Usually I would recommend a skin test however with the   ingredients  this products I do not deem it necessary.

Another tips for use-  Ask Ginger! Use the Contact button to send her a message!

A benefit of having some one that  is passionate  about what she does, is that she is more than willing to answer your questions, and share education about her products with you.

Improvements:

I would like to see a thicker version, with maybe small bits of “blood clots”  floating.

The red is more orange than red-However it is my understanding that this is being worked on!

Plans for the Future

One of the best things about having a beat on new products is the excitement of the creators, but also the ability to follow  products  from inception.
It is Gingers’ desire that the lube be sold via glass jars, and she will be branching out with Zombie and perhaps Alien Blood!

WHY BUY THIS PRODUCT?

♥ No petrochemicals
♥ No parabens which irritate sensitive tissue
♥ Natural  Ingredients
♥ 100% Vegan
♥ Cruelty Free
♥ Edible

At $10 it is steal!   The Lish website does require you to have Facebook- However you can always contact Ginger, and she will guide you through other payment options.

*Having unprotected sex is always dangerous. My partner and I have a fluid bond agreement.

 

*some education about lube/massage oil.
Think about where that stuff goes. While we are worried about what is in our food,our grocery bags etc- we are more than happy to slather our sexual parts with stuff we would not even eat.
Mucous membranes are the moist layer of semi-permeable tissue lining the mouth, nose, eyes, vagina and anus. Because they do not have the protective layer found on the surface of the outer skin, mucous membranes can be damaged, irritated and penetrated by synthetic chemicals more easily.

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Thoughts about sex workers

Saturday, November 3rd, 2012

Thoughts about sex workers

Eat your hearts out

Friday, November 2nd, 2012

My good friends over at  EdensFantasys  had me review a lovely piece of lingerie.

The packaging of the product was great. It came boxed, and had tissue paper wrapping. It also came with three sections for each of the items. This is a good selling point for me because I tend to lose smaller pieces of lingerie.

It does say gift set in the title, but I was not expecting it to be elaborate. I was pleasantly surprised. This makes it a great spur of the moment gift. It is geared towards V-day, but the red could be a super sexy Mrs Claus!

It comes with rhinestone hand cuffs, pasties, and a G string.

The handcuffs are poorly made. When I strapped them on my wrists one section of the glued on rhinestones split off. Also while moving around the chain that connected the handcuffs broke. The picture shows that the length between the cuffs is longer than it is. When I measured the length of the chain it was was under two feet.

The pasties were adorable. They were well constructed, and did not fall off during play. They were also easy to remove, and did not leave any residue. However they had a sticky backing that was limited them to one time use. If I was going to wear them again.. I would do so under a fishnet shirt to set them off!
The sticky backing could also cause possible allergies with sensitive skin. I have emailed Leg Avenue for the chemicals used. I will update the review when I get a response.
They were also large enough to cover my areolas, which are larger in size. I would invest in some liquid adhesive so you can reuse the pasties. ImageImage

Another plus is that the G string is one size fits most. It is a tie string, with amazingly cute hearts that dangle from it. This is a boon for those of us that don’t fit in to straight sizes, especially those from Leg Avenue.
The quality of the G string was not great, but these are not underwear that make their way out into the real world.

______

product picture
Sexy panty by Leg Avenue
Material: Nylon / Spandex